BLOOD... GUTS... DEATH... SEX... ONLY THE WORST OF THE WORST...

HORROR REVIEWS BY SHAWN!!

WARNING!! :: THIS IS A BUNCH OF REVIEWS OF SPLATTERPUNK / EXTREME HORROR BOOKS AND OR MOVIES, ITS GONNA BE GROSS!!

PREAMBLE ::

this page is home coded and may fall apart, but thats not what you care about is it? noo, youre here for the GROSS BOOKS I READ!! im gonna be as honest as i can during my reviews, so spoilers will be all over the place here!! my bad T_T.. how i want to do this is like this; link to where you can read/watch the movie im talking about, the title, my personal rating out of five stars () and then my yap of a review! if i didnt finish something, ill put DNF (did not finish). as much as i do enjoy extreme horror, im afraid im not exactly edgy enough for everything (said by the 17 year old boy. shocker aint it?) as a side note; i wont be reviewing all of the books ive read here, ive read probably around thirty of these and alot of them simply werent noteworthy to me or just didnt really do anything for me personally! sorry T_T

REVIEWS ::

PLAYGROUND : ARON BEAUREGARD

my very first splatterpunk!! because im basic!! playground isnt a horrible place to start (if i say so myself) but it is certainly.. a book!! if youve heard of this book you have CERTAINLY heard of it being called "saw for kids", and yeah, pretty much! it gets really sad very quickly, and to be honest thats what got me the most!! the gore was.. okay? the images were a nice touch!! i dunno, i dont do great with things with kids in it. Geraldine was a fantastic villain and im so glad she didnt get the "im so sad i was abused as a kid" backstory, which is pretty common in splatterpunk (shockingly? youd think a genre about horrible people would kinda avoid that,,) but overall, not my favorite of ABs work, but a pretty good start for whats in this genre!! (p.s : if you cant deal with weird poop stuff, dont read arons work. its like atleast once per book)

100% MATCH : PATRICK C. HARRISON III

a must-read in my mind atleast, popular for a good reason!! a pretty short read, i got through it in about an hour!! (or maybe im just a fast reader, who knows!! =P) but it was good!! the cat shit part was.. HHHHHHHH i had to take a break from ground beef after that one.. but if the ending wasnt a bit too predictable for my taste (i dunno, as soon as he got an actual date i figured she was some kind of fucked up) itd be a 5/5!! still, would reccomend to anyone trying to dip their toes into splatterpunk!!

THE BIGHEAD : EDWARD LEE

this book. i dnfed about three quarters of the way in. it was so BADDDDD i understand that its a classic (written in 1997) but OH MY GOD it is overhyped. its just bad country accents being TYPED OUT (im sorry but typed accents will turn me off to a book SO hard.) and rape. this is just a rape book. i didnt have an idea for zero stars so i put a chainsaw. 0/10, whatever the opposite of recommending a book to someone is, i do that to anyone who wants to read this. i can see why its one of those "you love it or you hate it" books. i hate it.

EXQUISITE CORPSE : POPPY Z. BRITE

i wanted to like this book, i really really did!! it had such positive reception and poppy is usually a pretty well respected author, but i just couldnt get into it. what is commonly left out when it comes to talks about this book is that its based off of dahmer and his murders. listen, true crime is some peoples fix and i get that but this just feels like a slap. personal issues aside, the writing wasnt great, the sex scenes felt like a chore to get through and the ending was just bad. dont read it, its not worth the hype it gets, based on dahmer or not.

WOOM : DUNCAN RALSTON

on a more positive note!! woom was really good!! the hype is very deserved even with the plot being more than a little predictable at times!! the plot was engaging to me and learning angel's backstory was very enjoyable! the analogies of rebirth and love (it gets pretty clear pretty quick) are well done!! extra points from me for not treating the sex worker like shes a worthless fleshlight, unfortunately really common in these stories. is it a 10/10 from me? no, very few books are, but id say its an 8!! worth all the love its given 100%!! (+++ points for freaking the fuck out of my boyfriend LMFAO)

MUKBANG PRINCESS : RAYNE HAVOK

mukbang content creator (variety isnt specified, if it is i cant remember, i read this like.. a year ago at the time of writing) gives birth and eats the baby. + points for making me think one of my friends wrote a splatterpunk book and i didnt know, sorry ray

FULL BRUTAL : KRISTOPHER TRIANA

full brutal is a pretty alright book for the most part!! until the ending, that part felt so rushed it really sucked. pregnancy is such a good idea for body horror especially in a book like this where the mc is just straight up evil. i feel so bad for the teenage girl oh god that poor girl went through the RINGER! im kinda starting to hate the "teenage girls are the spawns of satan after they hit the age of sixteen" trope in these books. at least they didnt glorify the pedophile!!

FLUIDS : MAY LEITZ

my first queer-focused extreme horror!! i loved the unreliable narrator, and seeing a main character be a trans woman who isnt just a sex objet or a transphobic joke was great!! the rape scene was really hard to get through though, even with how i assumed id be fine with that by the time i picked this book up. the story is wonderfully told and i hope to get my hands on more of mays work soon!!

NIPPING THEM IN THE BUD : EDWARD LEE

an angel picks a man up and makes him kill people before they do the bad things theyll go onto do before they did them so the man can go to heaven? count me in!! this book was so interesting to me, the angel sticking to his virtues while explaining to this guy that hes gonna kill people to save his own skin from purgatory was pretty funny. i found the actual people in the story really stereotypey but thats kinda what youre stuck with in this genre. the puppy guy got what was coming to him, fuck that guy!! i liked that our mc didnt just fall into "i have power so im going to kill everything i want to and you cant stop me!!!1!!" and instead kept his morality until the end, not something you see every day in this genre!! overall, not a bad book!! would recommend to someone with a pretty black sense of humor!!

READING LIST ::

THE BLACK FARM - ELIAS WITHEROW

WHAT GOOD GIRLS DO - JONATHAN BUTCHER

COWS - MATTHEW STOKOE

HEADER - EDWARD LEE

SNUFFSPORT - RHYS WARE